How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize