All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
