I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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