I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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