one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize