I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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