So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
