We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
