Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
