This girl is more easily done than said...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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