I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
