Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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