We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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