New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
