apparently the secret to your success is patron
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
