I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
