Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize