Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
