Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
