The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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