My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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