i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
