if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
