dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
