So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
