dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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