Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
