everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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