he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
