i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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