Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He did a backflip because drugs
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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