So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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