What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
