So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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