Dual....:-)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
