Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
