Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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