Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
