He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
