You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
