speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
