i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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