how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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