she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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