I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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