just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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