East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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