I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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