At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
try to milk me bitch
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
