Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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