We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
