high people should be assigned attendants
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Bang-toberfest begins!!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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