this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize