Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
