we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
