How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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