shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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