well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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