The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
