Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
